When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
