Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
