the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
