Well douche your snatch and let's go!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
