have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
