saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
