Don't you send me to vm
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
