how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
