Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
