Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
