So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize