South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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