I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why can't burritos get me drunk
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
