i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
