is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
