I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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