Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
