if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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