Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
