Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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