I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
