i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
