I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
