Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
