You really coming over, don't trick.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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