All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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