The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
