he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
