Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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