One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
