thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
