Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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