I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm always down for nudity.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
