I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
