Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
