Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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