Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
