..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She's the barista slut.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
