Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
