I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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