Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
