Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
