Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
