too bad you live with your parents still
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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