I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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