My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
