But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
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