I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
