Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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