everyone is single if you try hard enough
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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