Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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