Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
