Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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