He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
