Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
