Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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