i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
